Twelve Months Post Op

Well, it's a year today since my surgery. It's great to be not staring down the barrel of an operation at this time of year, heading into christmas and summer with my family knowing that this year it will be enjoyable. And, I can participate in all the activities!

So, the year could be divided up into physical health, university, family and relationships.

Physical health is the big factor that drove how all the other areas were. Don't underestimate the impact that surgery has on all these areas, because there is a big difference between thinking and believing you are up to something and actually being able to manage it. I had a lot of help up until a few weeks ago with housework and things. I could still probably do with some, but I am now managing. The help was to enable me to get on with some of the university and rehabilitation stuff that I priorotised. I have had periods this year when I have been totally pain free. And other times where I have been pain-full. But, the pain free times have given me hope that I will have longer and longer periods where I am not too sore. The pain that I have had recently has been from doing too much, and taking a student placement job which was on the other side of town. So, 2 hours a day travel on top of a full day 'up' had been quite taxing.

I feel ready to heal in a holistic sense now, I have had a really big year with my physical health as well as my mum having a recurrance of cancer which she is recovering ok from. I feel like all the physical stuff has taken a toll on me emotionally, and that in turn is feeding back into my ability to recover. I had some accupuncture yesterday which was quite helpful.

University has been good, although I am a bit further behind than I would like to be. On the other hand, there are others who haven't had the obstacles I have had this year and are in a similar position to me. So I'm not being too hard on myself. Next year is an internship so I have taken one close to home to enable me to have a better work life balance. So, I picked a good job but one that is really based on my health rather than the actual job itself. The things there that will keep me healthy are that they finish on time every day, and I have my own office where I can lie down for a break if I need to, and also I don't have to travel too far so I can go to the gym on the way to or from work.

Personal life, well I got engaged this year, so that was great! My fiance is an amazing support to me, and he has given me so much of himself this year in helping me to recover. The impact that all this must have had on him is something that I shouldn't forget. He was wonderful when I was recovering, and did things that no boyfriend should have to do!

Friends and family wise, that was where the biggest surprises came from. People who I didn't anticipate supporting me did, and people that I thought would be there for me weren't at all. The biggest hurts came from people who I thought I could rely on not visiting me, not understanding, and not helping. My mother in law gave me loads of support with housework, and she is the person who helped me the most throughout the year. I also made new friends, and decided to put effort into older friends who I could tell were worth the effort.

Overall, I am glad I had the surgery. I didn't expect perfection going in to it, I was happy with a reduction in pain and no more progression. I think I got that, my surgeon discharged me for the first time ever! I grew, physically and probably emotionally. I learned a lot about looking after my own interests a bit more, and not investing time in people who don't value me and instead giving my energy to people who reciprocated when I needed it most. Going into the surgery was one of the scaryest things that I have had to do, and one of those things that you have to do and have a choice, but at the same time you don't. What I would really like now is time to recoup, and recover fully. I'm taking a 3 week holiday on the yacht, cruising around the Bay of Islands, New Zealand... google it and see if I make you envious! I am thrilled to be able to enjoy the NZ summer this year, and not spend it in a lazyboy!

Thanks for listening to my reflections, I hope that I can offer hope to those of you who are going through surgery and recovery. My number one piece of advice is to not be too hard on yourself, priorotise rehabilitation and recovery and the rest of the world (work, studies) can wait. You only get one shot at it (recovery), so make it count.